“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Letting things go is hard for most of us. We let what someone says to us or about us affect the way we feel and perceive ourselves. The emotions can fester and build up inside, causing anxiety, depression, lower self-worth, loss of confidence and more.
The pent up black hole of emotions inside of you can cause issues with building relationships, including that wall some of us build in order to avoid getting too close, getting hurt or feeling judged. So much of the way we perceive the world is through our emotional lens.
Below are a few rules to live by.
Don’t take anything personally.
I know – that is going to be a tough one. Have you ever sat in a work meeting where the boss was expressing concern/disappointment with performance or attitudes, and you felt like the entire message was directed at you? Stop. Has someone said something rude or mean to you? Let it go. These messages are not a reflection on you, but rather an insight into the emotional state of that person.
Stay calm and show that person compassion. Smile. They may not know how to ask for love and support and your gesture can open their eyes to a different way of living, thinking and feeling.
Replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive actions and emotions.
Easier said than done! Have you ever seen the movie Yes Man? Without giving too much away, the main character, Jim Carrey, says Yes to EVERYTHING. And it changes his life. Replacing feelings of inadequacy, internal monologues of “I can’t” and fear (of failure, embarrassment, etc.) with positive activities, spiritual growth and activities that can bring you fulfillment.
Unconditionally. You have to love yourself, every day. Whether you center and love yourself through meditation, breathing, mantras or post-it notes on your mirror – find a way to say, “I love myself” every day. The power of positive thinking is transformational.
Holding in anger and resentment anchors you to the past and really only affects you. Learning to truly let go and forgive is transformative. Forgiveness can rekindle relationships and create an interconnectedness that brings great joy to your life.